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vanity metric

/ˈvæn.ɪ.ti ˈmɛt.rɪk/ - n.

1 [colloq.] A number that goes up to make a slide feel better and a quarter look busier.Keep. Punchy.This is the problem.

Working definition

2. A figure that reliably trends upward but does not inform any decision or change any behavior.

Promoted

See also

actionable insightTerm struck pending the definitions of action, owner, and decision right it claims to carry; absent those, the insight is observed but not actionable.
executive dashboardThe one dashboard that must never be red while the report is open.
key performance indicatorA number promoted to 'key' the quarter it finally looked good.